


Astrology For Lunch

by Debi_C



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Astrology, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-26
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 07:07:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Debi_C/pseuds/Debi_C
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SG1 checks out their horoscopes at lunch.  Archaeologist baiting. Assault on helpless Apple Pie. Innuendo abounds. Don't let the stars get in your eyes, don't let the moon break your heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Astrology For Lunch

Daniel Jackson came into the dining area and looked around for his team mates. Sure enough there was Sam Carter and Teal'c sitting in their usual table eating lunch. Rather, Sam was eating lunch, but the big Jaffa had finished and was reading one his favorite periodicals, the Daily Reflector. The front page was advertising a rising Television star had been kidnapped by aliens.

He went through the line, procured a sandwich, chips, a piece of apple pie and a glass of milk then sat down with them. "Hi, guys. What's new?"

"Well, Teal'c is developing an interest in astrology." Sam commented through her blue Jell-O. "I've been telling him that it all a bunch of superstition, but he is still keeping track of his readings in the magazine." 

"I did not say that I believed, Samanthacarter. I merely stated that I was reading the article for research purposes."He corrected "But many of the system lords do, based on the sky charts of the First World."

"Really? From Earth? Why?" She looked at him in amazement.

Daniel took a bite of his sandwich and nodded. "A lot of the ancient religions relied heavily on Astrology for diving the future. Apollo's temple at Delphi was a serious consideration for many of the ancient world's greatest heroes and their adventures. Even Alexander visited the grotto and received a reading from the Pythia. Ancient China . . ."

Colonel O'Neill joined them carrying a tray with his own lunch and sat down with his old team. "Hi ya, kids. How's lunch?"

Carter shrugged. "It's not bad. Did you get the meatloaf today?"

Jack looked over at her plate. "Nah. It looked kinda green to me today. Whatcha doing?"

"I was assured that it is the bell pepper O'Neill, and that one not be concerned with the meat." 

"Well that makes me feel better." The Colonel nodded. "But I got the Tuna Surprise."

"Surprise." Daniel mumbled around his own tuna sandwich.

"So, whatcha reading, big guy?"

"Daniel was just explaining about astrology." Sam interjected. "Teal'c's taken up an interest."

"Really? Astrology? I wouldn't think you the type, T." The Colonel commented.

"I am, in fact, a Leo." Teal'c replied. "I was born in your month of July on the thirtieth." 

"Really, Daniel are you a Leo too? Your birthday is in July." 

"Actually, I'm a Cancer. The early part of the month." Daniel replied, sipping his milk. "You should know. After all I found the glyphs from the Stargate on your Astrology map." The younger man smiled at the memory..

"Ah, no. That was an astronomy map, Daniel. The Astrology came from Sergeant William's newspaper." He made a face at the casserole on his plate. "I'm a Libra, myself."

"I can't believe that I'm sitting here listening to you three discuss Astrology." Carter shook her head, then took another bite of the Jell-O. "Hello! Modern science here."

Daniel shook his head at her. "Just ask Pete about the full moon thing. That's not a superstition."

"That's not astrology either. That has to do with the gravitational pull on the planet which he says affects people with different types of physiologys."

"Hence the name Lunatics," Jack put in. At the team's started looks, he commented. "Hey, I read."

"And that's not a superstition." Janet Fraiser sat down with her friends. "I've worked enough Hospital Emergency Rooms to know that." She shook her head. "All the crazies show up."

Jack looked at her tray. "You got the meatloaf?"

"It's the bell pepper."

"But that has nothing to do with Astrology." Sam protested.

"My mother had my natal chart read before I was born. The Astrologer said I was a classic Cancer." Daniel commented as if in defense.

"Oh, really? What does that one say, T? Jack asked.

Teal'c folded the newspaper back and began to read aloud. "Basic Profile: CANCER. Intuitive, sensitive, responsive, aware, family/home oriented, shy, understanding, feeling, imaginative, dependable, conservative, loving, but can be moody, touchy, prickly, and hostile. "

"Well, that doesn't prove anything." Sam snapped unhappily.

"What? Just because mine doesn't match." Daniel started to protest.

Sam and Janet began to snicker. Jack swallowed his coffee to clear his mouth. "Daniel that is so you, it hurts." He grinned broadly. "Intuitive, understanding, imaginative, moody, touchy, prickly, hostile."

"I am not!" Daniel exclaimed. "Teal'c, how about 20 October?"

The big man nodded and changed the position of the tabloid. "Basic Profile: LIBRA Cosmopolitan, refined, amiable, sociable, happy, generous, realistic, charming, gracious, affectionate, balanced, diplomatic, easy-going, elegant, flirtatious, committed, objective but can be indecisive, emotionally complex, vague, dependent, distant, argumentative, depressed, exhausted, materialistic, superficial, self-indulgent, easily-offended. 

"You see, you see! This one is just wrong!" Daniel said snappily. "Though the distant, argumentative, depressed, exhausted, materialistic, superficial, self-indulgent, and easily-offended could work for you."

"Now wait, wait." Janet interjected. "The Colonel is sociable, happy, generous, realistic, affectionate, charming, flirtatious, committed, and objective, though I'm not too sure about the cosmopolitan, refined, gracious and elegant part." She laughed as Jack looked at her innocently, arching his eyebrows. "And heaven knows Daniel is sensitive, aware, shy, understanding, feeling, imaginative, and conservative." She shrugged. I don't know about the rest, though half my staff wants to find out."

"Okay, everyone, just cut it out." Daniel cut into his piece of pie with a vengeance. "Quit picking on me."

"Hence the prickly reference." Jack started on his pie also. "So what does it say about today for Cancer?"

Teal'c continued to read aloud. "You are exceptionally versatile, and all your skills are in demand right now. Don't be surprised if you're less likely to express your feelings than usual. You may be in a place or with people you're not quite sure of. It's okay. Save it all until you're home."

"Danny! I'm hurt." Jack gave him the open puppy dog look that was guaranteed to melt the hardest Archaeologist heart.

"I'll hurt you all right."

"T, does it use the word snarky in there anywhere."

Teal'c looked back down at the paper. "It does not."

"Well, as long as you're picking on Daniel, what does the Colonel's say?" Sam quirked a smile at the older man.

"Before speaking, edit. Omit some details and highlight others. Your sweetie may seem a bit out of sorts. Sit down and ask them point- blank to talk with you about it, you can iron it all out with surprising quickness. Oh, go ahead. It can't hurt."

Janet choked on her orange juice. "Oh my God, Colonel! Apologize immediately."

"Hey!" Daniel went bright red. "I'm not his sweetie!"

"Sam?" Janet turned to her friend.

"It's not me!" She defended quickly. "That would be against regs."

"And I'm not?" Daniel squeeked.

Janet grinned widely. "Don't ask, don't tell, sweetie."

Daniel pushed his chair back with a scraping sound. "Okay, I quit. I know when I'm outnumbered! You know where you can find me when you want to talk seriously." The younger man left in a huff."

Sam and Teal'c looked at the two remaining members of their group with chagrin. "Well, I guess we'd better be getting back to work too." Sam commented and picked up her tray.

Teal'c nodded and folded the paper carefully, handing it to O'Neill. "I am through with this publication, Oneill. You may have it."

"Thanks T. Carter, don't you want to hear yours?"

"Uh, Sir . . . I think . . . . "

"Don't trust your memory today. Confirm everything. Go to the source. When -- not if -- a dear one attempts to gently hint that you might be taking things a bit too seriously, don't overreact. First of all, that would be proving them right. And they just might be."

She looked at him with a suspicious glare. "You made that up."

"It's right here, Carter. Suck it up."

"Yes, Sir. Sucking up, Sir." She shook her head and left, Teal'c trailing behind her. 

Jack looked at Janet. "Do you want to hear yours?"

"Not on your life." She shook her head seriously. "Sir, about Daniel . . . "

"Don't worry about it, Doc. He's a big boy. He can handle a little teasing."

She smiled at him. "Well, I'd better be going too. When's your next mission?"

"Not for a couple of days. We have tomorrow off and we leave again on Tuesday."

"I'll see you late Monday then." Janet nodded and left.

"It's a date, Doc." After Fraiser had left, Jack turned to the astrology column for the next day. He looked at Cancer for Sunday, the 21 of November. He raised his eyebrows at Daniel's daily overview. It said: 

You can't deny it any longer. There's someone who absolutely fascinates you. Stop hiding your head in the sand! It's time to face facts. They have something that you want. Go after it. 

Going farther down, he looked at Libra. It said.

Don't make plans that can't be adjusted, or even canceled. The universe has a trick or two up its sleeve, involving someone you'll be more than happy to accommodate. Leave everything open, and have Plan B ready to roll. 

Jack smiled as he took the last bite of his pie. Plan B, huh. Okay, he could handle that quite nicely. . . and his little Archaeologist too!

fin

**Author's Note:**

> In the movie Daniel used the newspaper and its page on astrology to deduce the glyphs on the Stargate were in fact addresses.


End file.
